Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
