your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
