3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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