The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
