the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize