i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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