Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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