I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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