Duck Duck Cougar?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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