I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
