You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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