Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
