Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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