plz talk dirty to me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
