just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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