You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
