fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
