He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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