I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
