Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
