Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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