fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
false alarm, still single
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