I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
as a side note pls kill me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
