just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
