i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
