I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
