ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize