im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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