K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize