He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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