Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
