i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
