I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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