The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
its liver damage thursday
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
