a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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