after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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