spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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