idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize