I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Jerry, you need to find god
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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