I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
