Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
