Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
