I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
