Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
