Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just threw up on my dentist
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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