last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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