I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
