She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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