when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
