I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
