you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
