I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
