I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
