So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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