3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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