Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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