Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
time to smoke my breakfast
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
