you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
