There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
