I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
