Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
