There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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