I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
