jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
two words: eviction party
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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