I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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