We're facebook friends in real life
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ugly people sure do ruin things
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
