I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
