Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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