you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
