Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
