that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
